An Open Letter To My Brothers

Dear Brothers,

Thank you for being mean to me when I was younger. Because of you, I learned a lot about the real world.

Being mean back won’t do any of us any good.

Remember all the times you would say something mean to me, and I would try to respond with something equally as mean? Remember when we all got in trouble? Yea. That’s kind of how the real world is too. You can’t say something mean to someone without both of you coming out worse for it. Don’t get me wrong; I know I started a lot of the mean talking, too. But thanks to you, I learned to hold my tongue when someone was mean to me. I learned not to say anything mean in the first place. I learned to go to my room and sulk or laugh it off. At the end of the day, they are just words.

Winning all the time won’t happen.

I remember competing with you sooo much. I tried to be the best at everything. Sometimes I was, but most of the time I wasn’t. For example, when I tried to learn how to snowboard and couldn’t even stand up. Or, when two of us had an art class together, and I got Bs while you got As… Yea, thanks for helping me learn that lesson early in life, because now I am only the winner about 25 percent of the time. But, thanks to you, I am able to roll with it and be okay with not winning at everything.

No one enjoys when you’re the only one singing in a car full of people.

I may have cried, argued and pouted when you said to me, “Sissy, who sings this song? Yea, you should let them sing it.” Or, when you took the meaner approach and just straight up told me I suck and to shut up…. It may sound mean to those who are reading this, but I know now how annoying it REALLY is when people ruin a good song by singing it. Thanks for teaching me that lesson.

Fighting solves nothing.

Fighting is probably the dumbest thing anyone can do, and I learned that from you. Looking back all the times we fought we ended up hurting each other, both physically and mentally. Except, for us it was mostly mental. We could all be in tears over nothing more than our own words. How sad. But, today I know how painful words are and how fighting really solves nothing. I definitely learned that from you.

You don’t have to be on time for everything.

I remember leaving without you guys as I went to school for fear of being late. And, I remember screaming at you to try and get your butts out of the door, because I had this irrational fear of being late. Was I ever late? No. Was I close?…. YES. But did it matter? No. Now, being on time IS IMPORTANT (I hope you guys make an effort…). But, I also know there are more important things in the world than being on time, and I thank you for purposely making me suffer in high school, just so I could learn that lesson earlier rather than later. (On that note, I also know that making a cat-hissing noise when someone is late probably won’t get me what I want).

Talking with your mouth full of food is gross.

Yea, we used to have a lot of fights at the dinner table thanks to this. BUT now I know that no one enjoys it when you talk with your MOUTH FULL OF FOOD. In fact, it has become a pet peeve of mine. So thanks, a lot.

Political differences are okay.

And they don’t need to be argued about. Heck, we grew up in the same household. We are all good people (I think). And yet, and the same time we all have different political opinions. Who better to learn that differences are okay than from your family? And, who better to learn how to successfully debate than from your family? I am sure our parents hated our back-and-forth political differences in high school and college, especially around the holidays (to be honest, I still kind of dread them). But you taught me the value of listening to another’s opinion and disagreeing with it, without thinking less of the person for it.

Differences in general are a good thing.

Our family consists of a snowboarder, writer and artist. We are all creative, all extremely different. We have two Type-A’s and one Type-B. We have two “on the fringe” types and one “by the book” type. We all three chase after our passions and we all three don’t fully understand one another. But, that’s the real world, and I learned that at a young age. (Mom, I hope you are in tears right now). We have found ways to look past our differences and still love one another, a lesson I think the whole world could use more of. Thanks for teaching me that just because I am different, it doesn’t mean I am wrong. More importantly, thanks for teaching me that it doesn’t mean I am right either. Our home of three kids was made up of more differences than I can even count, but that’s how the world is, and I think that’s what I came to love the most about growing up with you two.

All in all, growing up with two brothers was really, really, really difficult. I know we didn’t always see eye-to-eye. I know that we had to have assigned days to keep from fighting over the front seat, remote control and driving to school… I know that we all live on different ends of the country, literally… BUT I also know that I learned more from both of you than I could ever have hoped.


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