I Don’t Need a New Year’s Resolution

My past few weeks / weekends have been focused on trying to make sense of my crazy, whirlwind life. Two weeks ago, I went back to college. Last Saturday, I spent all day barhopping in a Santa onesie, not necessarily the “adult” that I always envisioned myself to be when I graduated.

With the New Year coming up, I keep thinking that I need to make some monumental change. I keep thinking that I need to grow up and become a more functioning member of society. But, the longer I live and work and try to survive the more I realize that 95.8 percent of the population has no idea what they are doing. Everyone is trying to live and work and survive, and that is completely okay.

MEHRP has become my favorite non-word this year because I believe it pretty much sums up the way I feel 83.5 percent of the time (in case you haven’t guessed, I am big on percentages these days). That feeling is “I REALLY DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO OR SAY RIGHT NOW SO I AM JUST GOING TO MAKE A NOISE.” Literally.

The only thing, or things I guess if you want to get technical, that have gotten me through this past year are my friends. But seriously, a world without good girlfriends is NOT a world that I want to live in, because who else would put up with you calling them 17 times in 30 minutes or texting them 20 times in one hour without a response? Answer: no one.

I have had a crazy, messed up, unexplainable year. And if you haven’t, then you are lying. Thankfully, my friends got me through this year of crazy. And, just to show you how amazing they are, I will give you some examples.

That one time I showed up at their stairwell and waited for two hours for their date to leave…. Yep. That happened. It was not my most proud moment, but I was desperate for a friend. Don’t worry though. I picked up a bagel on the way for a “stairwell snack”.

That one time I texted them and told them I wanted to move and then two months later changed my mind 100 percent and then two months later changed it again. To make it worse, I texted these people I call friends every single time. I also called them, cried to them and sent them oddly depressing snapchats. They should get an award for that.

Being the ultimate third wheel has definitely become my area of expertise, because while it seems almost all of my friends got boyfriends in 2015, I am adamant about my “single life.” AKA I fill the void with books, wine and friend time (did that rhyme?).

That other time I showed up at my friend’s doorstep in a Santa onesie and took a two hour nap, ate her pizza then made her go out with me all while her date was still at her apartment. To be fair, I did warn them. Oh, and in case you were wondering, yes this was last weekend.

For some reason it has also become a pattern of mine to walk home from bars late at night. Before you freak out and judge me… subways can be hard to find and navigate. Cabs are expensive. And, I know I will be okay because I always call a friend and she talks to me the entire time. Sometimes it’s 20 minutes; other times it’s an hour and a half. Sometimes I am completely sober; other times not so much.

Writing letters has also become a popular way for me to stay in touch during “long distance friendships.” But really, write me a letter, because it is fun and necessary. I have a lot to say and sometimes texts just don’t cover it.

All those times that I went out with every intention of keeping myself together and classy and ended up staying out until 3 am, only to wake up and spend all day on my friend’s couch because going home just seemed too difficult. On that note, my most famous last words are officially, “I am going to be a classy adult tonight.”

There have also been a few times when my friends either drive two hours to see me or pick me up from the airport, because I have no car anymore and can’t be trusted to rent one. (Dead serious, three weeks ago I parked my mom’s car so badly someone keyed her).

It’s no secret that I am a book nerd to the extreme. I also watch the news and talk about politics way too much. In fact, I probably talk about books way too much too. It surprises me every single day that I have friends who put up with this and actually listen to me.

There’s also that one time I went to visit my friend’s parents without her, because a friend’s family is basically the same thing as your own, right? Maybe? That’s what I am telling myself at least.

I am sure there are many other interesting, strange stories I could share to further prove my reasoning that I need to get my life together in 2016, but MEHRP. I am over it. I don’t NEED to get my life together, because in more ways than one, I have everything I need.

It’s great to end this year knowing that I have some of the BEST friends that can never be bought. They love me for the hot mess that I am, and I love them for that. And, if we are being completely honest, I am a good friend to them, too. At least that is what I tell myself when I am awake at night, trying to fall asleep.

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